Research Question: There is no Research Question paragraph. This is like an operations order without a mission statement. This should be your “how can I” question that drives your entire proposal.
Data collection: I would move my data collection questions to an appendix.
In-text citations: Although I admit I made only a quick glance, I did not see a lot, especially since you listed a lot of sources and did a lot of research on this. Be sure that each time you use material from a source you cite it within the text.
Bias and positionality: You are obviously very passionate about this subject and I appreciate the passion. However, you need to be careful that your passion does not hinder your objectivity, or perhaps give the appearance to readers of bias. Two things stuck out in this regard. First “My research topic will be to find out reasons why others discriminate against the tattooed.” Does the literature you reviewed to support this? Then cite it. Is this your opinion based solely on your experience, then you should consider rewording it or change the “why” to “if and for what reasons” and allow your research to answer the questions.
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